The War on Colic

Usually when people talk about colic they recount the agonizing crying, screaming, and bone-numbing feeling of helplessness. And sure, all of that is ab-so-lutely humbling and psychosis-inducing.

But I think the worst thing about colic is finding a cure. Yeah, because once you find something that works, you think it will work again. Parents of colicky infants think that if they exactly replicate the conditions that quieted the kid once, it will quiet them again, so we tweak (everything!) in micro-intervals - our arm position, respiratory rate, pace and direction of motion, vocal timbre, ambient sound - in pursuit of impeccable re-creation. We re-trace our steps, we repeat our words, we eat the same food... anything we can think of to re-create the experience during which our screaming kid last surrendered to sleep.

Ha! Joke's on us!

Colic is a science fiction nightmare. It's like one of those super-creatures that constantly morphs to survive, sucking energy from every opponent and growing smarter and more powerful with every threat.

Colic is crafty. It knows when to lay dormant (in the doting public eye, when Grandparents are visiting, at the pediatrician's office), hiding masterfully behind the innocent "Who? Me?" eyes of its host, and when to roar back into action, cruelly crushing the desperate hope of those who would dare whisper "I think we did it!"

In truth, there is no cure for colic. Colic never goes away, it just moves on. It invades another host - younger, fresher... maybe yours. Maybe yours...

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood