First Poem

I floated like the stars
I shiver like the sky
I kiss you like the moon
I think and I cry
(age 3 1/2)


Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

The Gift of Song

I got the best birthday gift today when I was awakened by a little voice singing her special version of Silent Night.

Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is bright,
Barnyard virgin mother and child,
Hold the infant so tempt her a while
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace.

Truly, this is a heavenly peace.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

She Learned the 'B' Word at School Today

It was bound to happen. I knew that. I just didn't expect it at three. I doubt I'll ever know who she first heard say it, and I guess it doesn't really matter. It's part of her experience now.

It's obvious that she knows how to use it, too. She leveled it at me when I pulled out into traffic this afternoon. First a dramatic gasp, then the horrified accusation, "Mom! You BUDGED in front of that car!"

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Breakfast of Champions

Nothing better than a half-inch piece of Cherry Chapstick and a shiny penny down the hatch to get you going on a snowy morning. Bonus points for making the Lifeline operator laugh. That's my girl!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

The Age of Reason

"Mama, how did God grow me in Meghan's tummy?"

When God was ready to make you he planted a teeny, tiny seed in Meghan's tummy, and you grew and grew and grew until you were ready to come out and be our daughter.

"Mama, how did God put the seed there?"

Well, God had help from Meghan and your birth father.

"Mama, how did God put the seed in Meghan's tummy? How?"

Hmm... God brought them together and they made the seed that would grow to be you.

"But Mama, how did the seed get in there? With a shovel?"

No, not with a shovel, Sweetheart. When grownups love each other very much God teaches them a special way. We can talk more about that when you're older.

"When I'm four, Mama?"

Maybe when you're four.

"Mama, does God eat cranberries?"

I don't know.

"It's OK, Mama. You have precious eyes."

Would you do me a favor and stay this age forever?

"No, Mama, I can't. Sorry, Charlie."

(yeah, me too.)


Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Reasons to Home School

This was written by a woman I know only as "Eva's Mamma". These are excerpts from her list Reasons to Homeschool. I love it.

"Jesus" is not a curse word. "Crap" and "stupid" are.

Real world experiences, going to the grocery stores and bank constitute a math lesson, gazing at stars on a beautiful summer night and seeing bats inhabit our bat house is science.

Your child can be taught to problem solve and to be creative and to know how to find answers for himself instead of only knowing how to find the answers he is asked to find.

I believe as a parent it is my responsibility to see that my child has the best possible education, and I don't want to hire that responsibility out to someone else.

Freedom to talk about and do activities about the holidays we celebrate without having to worry if we are being "PC".

You don't have to put a child who still rides in a 5pt harness in the family car on a bus with absolutely no safety belts.

I can teach my child to listen to her body - sleep when she's tired, wake when she's rested, eat when she's hungry, stop when she's satisfied. Our schedule is not regulated by rushed early mornings, late nights of homework, or scarfing lunch because there's not enough time to eat. Plenty of time for that stuff in college; no need to start it when she's 4.

The home schooled child can learn about mom or dad's job by going to work with them on ANY day, not just the once-a-year "take your child to work" holiday.

The support system for home schoolers today is so great that most groups in larger cities have high school graduation and many have football and other sports available for home schoolers. There are even national groups for extra-curricular involvement in home school debate and forensics speaking.

They learn early on that only they are responsible for their education, actions, behavior, and reactions. It’s up to them to choose the path they wish to follow, but they know that they have a hand to hold if they need it and a willing ear and heart for support and listening. They know they are never alone in any of the journeys.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Grossed Out Beyond Belief

Little One has a tiny cut on her tiny thumb, and as Little Ones typically do, she spends a great deal of time inspecting it, commenting on it, and offering it for my inspection and commentary.

Tonight at a restaurant she occupied herself by squeezing lemon slices into her ice water and then fishing the seeds and pulp out of the water. When she interrupted her game for an urgent potty break I didn't bother to dry her hands, figuring that we'd dry them soon enough in the bathroom.

She hopped up on the potty and almost immediately held her thumb out to me, whimpering "It stings." Seeing that her thumb was wet and knowing that lemon juice stings an open cut, I leaned forward, put her whole thumb in my mouth, and sucked the lemon juice off.

I'm a good mother. Always a solution. Takin' care of my Baby... My moment of self-congratulations ended abruptly when I saw the most bizarre expression on her face - a mixture of horror and disbelief.

"Mama, why did you eat pee pee?"

What? Eckgh! It's burned into my brain!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Why Don't You Want To Hold Your Baby?

Last night I watched a young mother swinging her baby in an infant carrier. Back and forth, back and forth, the woman's arm extended unnaturally far from her body in order to allow the carrier to swing freely without bludgeoning her legs. "He likes to be moving all the time," she volunteered. "I have to keep him swinging or he fusses."

Having watched the pair for almost 15 minutes I found the toll on the woman obvious, as she stopped frequently to stretch her back and chest and switch the precious load from one hand to the other, so I thought she might be open to another way. Yes, a better way, in my opinion.

"Have you tried holding him yourself?" She looked at me blankly. "Have you tried holding him in your arms instead of the carrier? He might be happier closer to your chest."

No, she didn't think so. And besides (she explained), she can just snap the carrier back into the car seat rather than unbuckle and buckle the baby to hold him. "Really, the carrier is so convenient," she gushed.

"More convenient than your own arms", I asked, playing along as if convenience really were the measure of a good idea. Apparently she decided that walking briskly in the opposite direction was what her baby needed right then, and as I watched her walk away I just felt sad.

Sad for all the babies who spend more time in a cushioned hunk of molded plastic than in their mother's arms. Sad for all the mothers who are simply doing what they see other mothers doing. How can they not want to hold their babies as close as they can whenever they can? How can they not want to brush their chins on their babies' downy heads... flutter their lashes on those ultra-soft cheeks... and simply breathe together?

I don't get it at all.

Personal thoughts aside, the medical community weighs in: Excerpted from St. Luke's website and other pediatric forums.

Are there problems associated with overuse of infant equipment?

• It's ok to use infant equipment. Infant equipment can be fun for your baby and useful for parents.

• However, infants develop in response to their experiences and their environment. Recent research showed that infants who spent lots of time in equipment were actually slower to meet their developmental milestones than babies who spent less time in equipment.

• The shape of a baby's head can change in response to pressure from the back of the car seat, bouncer seat or swing. A study of infants who spent a total time of more than four hours a day in their car seat/carrier, bouncer or swing found they developed flat spots on the back or sides of their skulls that changed their head shape. Positional plagiocephaly is the medical term used to describe this asymmetrical head shape.

• Researchers found that babies whose parents reported using infant equipment for a total of one hour a day or less had fewer of these problems.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Mustang Sally

Apparently Little Darling enjoyed the concert in the park this weekend. She's been singing a song from the concert all day:

"Muh-staken Sally... you better slow your muh-stakin' down..."

LMHO!! (laugh my heart out)

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Overheard

(Three year-old talking to herself during a time out in her crib)
crying, indignant blustering, etc.
Wait a minute. I can get out of this crib!
shuffling, rattling, muffled thuds
Aghhhh... I can't. Dennis! Den-nis! (calling Daddy by his first name!)
Awwwww! Can't somebody get me out of here?!

(Three year-old and her best friend, also three)
We're friends, Anna.
Yeah... friends forever.
I love each other.
Yeah. Next time we see each other we will hug.
And dance.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

"Chubby Mama"

"You're chubby, Mama. You're my chubby wubby."
I am...? Hmm...
"Yeah... (giggle)...you're my chubbiest Mama I ever had."
What does "chubby" mean, Baby?
"It means special... and tiny... and pretty."
Lucky me, I'M CHUBBY!!!!!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Every Mother Needs a Good FWOK

A FWOK is a "Friend WithOut Kids", and I've come to realize how much I rely on a good FWOK every now and then.

Sure, it's not easy to find a good FWOK, but it's so worth it. A good FWOK gives you a chance to forget about everyone else for a while and just focus on yourself and your needs. I always leave a good FWOK feeling refreshed and renewed... and looking forward to the next time.

The best FWOK I ever had is someone I count on for a reality check when I feel myself sliding down into the pit of self-absorbed motherhood. Having no kids, she is neither obsessed with nor even mildly interested in Developmental Milestones. She once asked, "Is that good?" when I told her that my two year-old can write her name. With either hand. In Sanskrit.

This FWOK is completely wild. She actually cooks on the front burners - with the pot handles turned out! She totally pushes the bounds of decency by leaving her sliding glass doors open with nothing but a flimsy screen between her and a set of concrete steps. Dice, coins, fancy earrings, lipstick, camera batteries, even permanent markers... she let's it all hang out and she doesn't care who touches it.

I've gotten used to living without sharp corners or a closed bathroom door, but I have to admit it's a thrill to hear her say things like, "Help yourself to my nail polish. It's in the second drawer... between the Ambien and the razor blades." Wow! Did I ever talk like that?

If you can't remember the last time you had a good FWOK, it means you're overdue. You deserve one!!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

The Word of God

Last night I was ready for Most Precious Two Year-Old to go to bed before she was. With my strong recommendation she reluctantly pulled her pajamas on and dragged her toes all the way to the bathroom sink to wash her hands and brush her teeth. Sensing that her day was, in fact, ending despite her best efforts to the contrary, she repeatedly flicked the light on and off, on and off, on and off in an obvious attempt to gnaw through my one remaining nerve and claim "the win."

I finally put my hand over the light switch and declared, "The light stays off. No light." She immediately roared, "Yes, light! God said let there be light!"

Laugh? Cry? I did both and said (with misty eyes), "If God says it, we better do it. Let's have light."

"Mama, God said 'DON'T GO TO BED!'"

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

How Long Can You Stay?

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
--- Robert Frost

My Little One, my golden one, how long can you stay?

You’ve never been denied, betrayed or left unchosen.
You’ve never watched a face collapse under the weight of something you said.
Your whole being vibrates with the sheer delight of being delighted.
How long can you stay?

A moment lurks - I feel it closer - when you will feel the first frost of regret in your throat, when your cheeks will redden from the sting of rejection and your tears that now mist pure and clear will slope and stagger with real pain.

How long can you stay? Twirling breathless in the rain. Sturdy-legged, nose to ant. Half-on, half-off, half-in, half-out, no doubt, all mine, green and free and light.

I know not how long you can stay. I only know it's not long enough.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

What Motherhood is Really Like

A pregnant friend asked me what motherhood is really like. I thought for a moment then said, "It's looking at a face so streaked with dirt, sweat, snot, glue, jelly, dust, honey, pudding, or chalk that anyone in their right mind would turn away, and finding it so incredibly beautiful that you can't help but kiss it."

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood