What's Up?

My book is finished and in production, and as a result, I've been spending most of my time on The Adoptive Parent website and blog.

On the homefront, life with two kidlets is so very different from life with one. Richer in every way except the checkbook :)

Make a great day,

Sally

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Nothing Says "I Love You" Like Good Hygiene

"Nothing says 'I love you' like good hygiene." That's what the latest Target coupon flier tells me. A coupon flier I never requested be put in my mailbox.

I'm also told that "Anxiety and laundry detergent should be strangers to one another" and that "Moisturizing is like a vacation for your skin".

Who is writing this junk?! And more importantly, are there any women who actually buy into this ridiculous, insulting, condescending style of marketing?

I don't know who Target's target customer base is, but if they're targeting me, they've missed the mark by a mile.

Oops, do I sound bitter? Perhaps I should heed the gospel according to Target and open up a bottle of Snuggle. After all, "Sometimes happiness is as simple as a good fabric softener."

Puke.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

This Should Go Without Saying

1. Never, ever, ever put a lid on a box with your sister inside it.

2. Please don't glue beads to your brother's penis.
Even if he says it's OK.

3. No, you may not touch the ceiling fan while it's spinning to see if it will really chop your finger off. Assume that it will.

4. It's poop, Child! What did you think it would taste like?

5. Which of the following are things you may not do or play with even if all of your friends are allowed to and I'm the meanest mother on the planet and I don't understand anything?
a. BB gun
b. trampoline
c. pierce or tattoo your own or anyone else's body
d. anything stupid
e. all of the above
The correct answer is E. Thank you for playing.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Three Beautiful Things

I'm surrounded by beauty at all times. Here is where I found beauty tonight:
1. Turning the sheets down and finding a wilted dandelion pressed onto my pillow.
2. Tiptoeing into my daughter's room and cleaning sticky dandelion milk off her fingers while she slept.
3. Sitting on the grass alone in the dark, looking at the night sky and feeling grateful.

Where is the beauty in your world?

Thanks to Production, Not Reproduction for inspiring this post.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Make Outdoor Fitness Fun

If you're looking for ways to get fit as a family, check out my article "Make Outdoor Fitness Fun" in this month's Genesee Valley Parent Magazine. I've done the obstacle course with "kids" of ALL ages, and we've had a blast!

Enjoy summer!!!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Memo to Self

If, while standing in line at the post office, you ask a nearly-four year-old whether or not she remembered to put panties on this morning, she will lift her dress to her chin to show you whether or not she remembered. Whether she remembered or not.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

What Do You Think Of Your Baby Brother?

"Mama, he's very happy in his mind, and he smiles a lot so we can know it."

"We can't get married now because I'm a girl and he's a baby boy. When we're both grownups, then we can get married like you and Daddy."

"Watch out, Daddy. He might pee on you!"

"Did you hear that, Mama? He's trying to say my name!"

"Mom! He spit up in my bed. Eeeew! He spit up again and it's on me! Here! Take him, take him. Get him out of here!"

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

The Perfect Mother's Day is Underway

I'm having the best Mother's Day I've ever had. Seriously!

I'm enjoying rich, hot coffee in my favorite mug and watching the robins chase against a backdrop of huge, soft clouds in a bright blue sky.

No one is whining. No one is drumming on the table. No one is spilling or shrieking or issuing ultimatums through gritted teeth.

No one needs to be fed, wiped, burped, or applauded. Everyone in my little family is peaceful, quiet, and well-behaved, and I feel totally relaxed.

Considering it's Mother's Day... would it be rude of me to hide when they wake up?

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Seven Things My Husband Reminded Me He Does Better Than I Do

#1. Deep cleaning. He gets that look in his eyes, cranks up the music, and leaves no stack, pile, or heap un-organized. And it's not clean until you can see your reflection in the laminated countertop.

#2. Clean the car. He has an aversion to sitting on milk-encrusted seats and grinding Cheerios under his driving heel. Ditto on the reflection on the dashboard, except that it is complemented by the familiar scent of industrial strength Armor All®.

#3. Balance the checkbook. To him, balancing the checkbook means reconciling our records with the bank's, not with my memory. (Ohhh, so that's how it's done!)

#4. Drive. His cat-like reflexes and mind-reading abilities have averted many accidents over the years. This I can attest to. I still think I can accurately estimate his rate of speed as he drives away in the morning, however, and I don't think he's a "better" driver than I; I just think we have different driving styles :)

#5. Make certain Italian specialties like sauce and chicken soup. No argument here.

#6. Put our daughter to bed at night - faster. He covers all the bases (brushing teeth, bedtime books, bathroom breaks, baby story, etc.) and does it in record time. Maybe it's a Mom thing, but I enjoy taking the long way around, although I do admire his efficiency.

#7. Remember things accurately. He concedes my ability to accurately recall details from 10 years ago. However, anything in the last five minutes is his territory.

I'm waiting for his list of seven things I do better. I'll let you know when I get it :)


Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

My Apprentice

"Mom, Mom... please don't disturb my work. I'll talk to you later."

OK, Babe. I won't disturb your work.

"Mom, Mom... do you want to know what work I'm doing?"

Yes, I'd love to know. What work are you doing?

"I'm doing my writing work. I'm working very, very hard to do very good writing work. Do you want to know why?"

I'd love to know why.

"So I can be a good writer just like you, Mama. And then... and then... if I work really hard and be a good writer like you, we can write things together. Right, Mama?"

We already do, Baby. We already do.

Pardon me while my heart bursts.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Seven Things My Husband Does Better Than I Do

#1 Tune out. Not only can he absorb himself in the Wall Street Journal, he can read article excerpts aloud to me (and formulate thought-provoking questions to solicit my analysis) while I'm stuffing a dish towel in my mouth to keep from screaming, "Don't you hear her?!" Milk, please, Daddy. Daddy, milk, please. Can I have some milk, please? Daddy, please, can I have some milk? May I please have some milk? Milk, please. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. I want to have some milk, please. MILK! MIIIIILK! please. May I have some milk? Daddy!

#2 Build with blocks. When I see those bright pieces of possibility piled in the basket, I think, "Oh, that looks like fun!" But as soon as I pick up a block a familiar dread creeps in as I realize I don't know what the heck to do with these things. I don't know how to translate the images in my mind to anything in the physical world, and the brightly colored pieces of possibility quickly become mini- monuments to my mental paralysis. But put a couple of blocks in Daddy's hands and he starts channeling Frank Lloyd Wright! Towers and turrets, castles and cathedrals, vaulted ceilings, vaulting seals, plantations with elevators and fountains, casinos, a ferris wheel, theaters, an ampitheater!

#3 Change crib sheets. For him it's just flip, smooth, tuck, done. When I do it I end up looking like I lost a bar brawl to a pack of hormonal gorillas.

#4 Ask for help. "Honey, can you get the small Phillips head screwdriver from the tool chest? No, too small. I need a bigger one. Can you get it for me? Thanks. I need a flashlight too. Thanks. Now can you hold it right here? OK, now I need some paper towels and a small bowl of water. Honey? Can you hear me in there? Yeah, I also need that black plastic backing piece. Find it for me? Thanks. All set. Oh, hang on. Wait with me while I see if this adheres... no, no, it's coming off. Piece of junk! Here, take my keys. Can you run to the store and get the other kind... it comes in a blue can. If they don't have it there have them call their other locations. If you have to go across town you'll probably have to stop at the gas station. Thanks, Babe. You're taking the kids with you, right? I won't get anything done with them here."

#5 Anything with a power source.

#6 Sleep. When he's ready, he simply closes his eyes and sleeps. It's that easy for him. I, on the other hand, routinely lie awake for hours thinking about everything, nothing, writing To Do lists in my mind... I can't even say I accomplish anything with my insomnia, because the snippet of sleep I snatch a half hour before the alarm goes off somehow erases the preceding hours of deep thought.

#7 Lie.
To his little girl: "The library is closed. They don't sell ice cream here. Everyone in the world is going to bed right now."
To me: "You're as beautiful as the day we got married." He's very good...

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

The War on Colic

Usually when people talk about colic they recount the agonizing crying, screaming, and bone-numbing feeling of helplessness. And sure, all of that is ab-so-lutely humbling and psychosis-inducing.

But I think the worst thing about colic is finding a cure. Yeah, because once you find something that works, you think it will work again. Parents of colicky infants think that if they exactly replicate the conditions that quieted the kid once, it will quiet them again, so we tweak (everything!) in micro-intervals - our arm position, respiratory rate, pace and direction of motion, vocal timbre, ambient sound - in pursuit of impeccable re-creation. We re-trace our steps, we repeat our words, we eat the same food... anything we can think of to re-create the experience during which our screaming kid last surrendered to sleep.

Ha! Joke's on us!

Colic is a science fiction nightmare. It's like one of those super-creatures that constantly morphs to survive, sucking energy from every opponent and growing smarter and more powerful with every threat.

Colic is crafty. It knows when to lay dormant (in the doting public eye, when Grandparents are visiting, at the pediatrician's office), hiding masterfully behind the innocent "Who? Me?" eyes of its host, and when to roar back into action, cruelly crushing the desperate hope of those who would dare whisper "I think we did it!"

In truth, there is no cure for colic. Colic never goes away, it just moves on. It invades another host - younger, fresher... maybe yours. Maybe yours...

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

2009 Read With Kids Challenge

The 2009 Read With Kids Challenge, sponsored by Reading Is Fundamental (RIF) and US Airways, has officially taken off!

From the RIF website: "This year, the Challenge aims to collectively log 5 million minutes spent reading with children from April 1-June 30. Reading books with your kids is still important despite the fact that kids today read everything from text messages to endless Web sites on the Internet-- sometimes it takes a good old-fashioned book to help them advance their reading skills."

Log on today to create a team or begin tracking your individual progress.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting

Yours, Mine & Ours

Just 16 days into it and Big Sister's already hip to the power of pronouns.

"Who else would like a turn to meet my new baby brother?"
"Look, Mama! My baby is holding my finger!"
"My baby brother likes to watch me dance."

"Mama, make your baby stop crying! I think your baby poopied in his diaper."

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

The Things I Had Forgotten

Oh, the things I had forgotten between Baby #1 and Baby #2.

Dress in layers. That way you can simply peel clothes off layer by layer as the baby spits up on them throughout the course of the day. Jacket, sweater, shirt, camisole... if you get that far before you're ready to head home, you'll just have to turn your clothes inside out and start again.

No matter how much the baby sleeps at night, you will sleep less. Because after the baby slips into a nice, cozy "milk drunk", you lie awake listening for the baby's breathing, or waiting for one of those delightful middle-of-the night toxic diapers, or wondering if the "Vaccines Cause Autism" people are right, or trying to calculate how much a college education will cost 18 years from now, or trying to remember where you stashed the last Cadbury chocolate almond bar.

The 20-minute rule. That is, add 20 minutes to everything you need to do. For example, start to leave the house 20 minutes before you actually need to, because on your way out the door you'll remember that you took the car seat out to clean it, and you never put it back in. You'll need every one of those 20 minutes to wrestle the thing back in and hook all of the hooks to the right hook holders.

Frog Bodies. I forgot how difficult it is to dress or diaper a human frog with legs that never straighten out.

How much there is to say about nothing.
Diapers. Bottles. Stain removal. (Someone, please, get me a Wall Street Journal!)

The wonder. I hadn't forgotten it, but the memory had softened. There's nothing like the smell of fresh baby to reframe the day.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Our Triangle Becomes A Square

I've got a good excuse for not posting last week. In fact, I'm holding the excuse right now.

Little Mister was born last week and we're all happy, tired, and incredibly grateful for our fourth corner.

Enjoy your blessings, whatever shape your family is in.

Sally


Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

New Space

Hello! I'm glad you're here. We outgrew ourselves at New Mommy Sally, so we moved here. I hope to see you here often.

Make a great day!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

How Many Times?

I frown, "How many times do I have to tell you not to jump on the bed?"
She grins, "Mama, jump with me!"

I give The Look, "How many times do I have to ask you to chew with your mouth closed?"
She licks her lips, "I can't make my mouth stay closed when the food is delicious."

I sigh, "How many times do I have to remind you not to drum on the table?"
She shrugs, "But Daddy says I'm "an Erin girl for rhythm"?

I yawn, "How many times are you going to go to the bathroom before you settle down in bed?"
She wraps her arms around my neck and says, "How many times can I kiss your face before the sun comes up tomorrow?"

She's my kryptonite.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

My Complex Electra

At breakfast this morning:

"Oh, Daddy, you look beautiful! I like your shirt and your belt and your pants. You're beautiful, Daddy (stroking his face). You look like a doll. A Daddy doll."

Turns and gives me the once over, then "Mama, you can't wear that to my school. That's not beautiful. No way."

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

Bedtime Prayer

Dear God,
Thank you for... I had a great day today.
I love you, God, and I like you very much.
I know you always love me and I will be your friend forever.
I hope you have a good sleep, so you don't be crabby tomorrow.
Good night, God.

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood

I've Got Three Words For You

"My ear hurts."

Three little words with the power to unhinge my entire day. Forget the article I need to write and the conference call I scheduled and the birthday cake I should have baked last night. Yeah, we're looking at a keep you home from school - travel to the pediatrician - confirm an ear infection - wait at the pharmacy - pray for a nap that probably won't happen kind of a day. Beautiful.

It got me thinking about other three-word phrases, like "Is this yours?" Great when it's a stranger holding up a $20 bill; not so great when it's your boss holding up your offer letter from another company.

"Just forget it" brings a rush of relief when offered by a friend after a misunderstanding, yet the same three words are like a dare when flung over the shoulder of a spouse storming out during an argument.

I guess a lot of three-word phrases are situation-dependent, like "I swallowed it" from my preschooler. Button - bad. Migraine pill - worse. Mouthful of brussel sprouts - all right.

"Are you done?", "Who is it?" and "Just a minute!" can all signal happy, groovy things or portend grave interpersonal cataclysm.

"I love you." "Hug me tighter." "Hold me, Mama." "I missed you." Those are always music to my ears!

Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood