With apologies to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Denial
(1:45 a.m.)
That's not her, is it? It can't be. She's been sleeping through for months. Must be a garbage truck... or a cat... or a snow mobile... something. I don't know what, but it can't be her. Why would she be up?
Anger
(3:00 a.m.)
Over an hour, now. I don't believe this! How am I supposed to function tomorrow? It's not like I can take a day to recover. I have to write a column and make phone calls and answer emails and do finger plays and sing songs and pick up toys and make dinner and tickle & feed & haul 22 pounds of wiggling dead weight up and down the stairs, in and out of the stroller, the car seat, the bath tub, the grocery cart... How am I supposed to do all of that without any sleep? This isn't like you!
(3:35 a.m.)
You're obviously tired. Just put your head down and go to sleep. Down, Baby, down. You know 'down'. Why are you screaming at me? Believe me, I was much happier with you asleep. I sure didn't tell you to wake up.
Bargaining
(4:00 a.m.)
OK, Baby. Let's have a nice, refreshing bottle. Then Mama will give you a new diaper, and I'll rub your back and hum to you in the rocking chair. And you can peacefully drift off and sleep for what's left of the night. OK? If you go to sleep now, we can have a fun day together when you get up - several hours from now. Doesn't that sound good?
Depression
(4:35 a.m.)
That's it, then. This is my life. To teeter interminably on the razor edge of exhaustion, never released to either sleep or wake. Like a character from Greek mythology. I won't be able to write because my mind is like wet cement. I'll be permanently cranky and lose most of my friends, and I'll forget the ones I don't lose, because my memory is like a sieve. It's just as well, because I'll never again have enough energy to clean the house or... what is that other thing... that I do when people come over...? Bake. Yeah, bake. Much too tired to bake...
Acceptance
(5:15 a.m.)
It's all right, my love. We'll sleep another time. I'll stay with you as long as you need me. That's what it means to be your Mama. I'm sorry you had such a tough night. I love you. I'm here, Baby. Shhhhhhhhh. Mama's right here.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
May 22, 2006
May 12, 2006
The Gift of a Lifetime
On Mother's Day last year a young woman gave her mother flowers and a card and breakfast in bed. She thanked her mother for the years of unconditional love and encouragement. She thanked her for keeping God's presence alive in their home. She thanked her for adopting her seventeen years ago and giving her the only life she was meant to have.
They held hands and prayed that they would find another mother who would love and encourage unconditionally, who would keep God's presence alive in her home, who would adopt the young woman's baby - due a month later - and give her the only life she was meant to have.
On Sunday I will celebrate my first Mother's Day as a Mom. I'll sleep an extra half hour, finally find out the surprise my husband's been teasing me about, and not have to wash any bottles all day.
We will hold hands and pray for this extraordinary young woman who will never teach her first-born child to hold a spoon, or sound out the words in The Pokey Little Puppy, or say her prayers before bed. But we will.
Our daughter will know our love for the rest of her life because of her birthmother's love at the start of it.
Happy Mother's Day to mothers and birthmother's everywhere.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
They held hands and prayed that they would find another mother who would love and encourage unconditionally, who would keep God's presence alive in her home, who would adopt the young woman's baby - due a month later - and give her the only life she was meant to have.
On Sunday I will celebrate my first Mother's Day as a Mom. I'll sleep an extra half hour, finally find out the surprise my husband's been teasing me about, and not have to wash any bottles all day.
We will hold hands and pray for this extraordinary young woman who will never teach her first-born child to hold a spoon, or sound out the words in The Pokey Little Puppy, or say her prayers before bed. But we will.
Our daughter will know our love for the rest of her life because of her birthmother's love at the start of it.
Happy Mother's Day to mothers and birthmother's everywhere.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
May 10, 2006
Grounded!
Yesterday was the stuff of January dreams. Beloved Spring exploded into a stellar day of warm breezes and fragrant colors. The air at dusk was gentle and exquisite, coaxing even the sun to linger long and luxurious.
As I watched my 10 month-old, button-obsessed daughter play with the telephone I thought, "This is a great life. We've been blessed with our baby, we live in a good neighborhood in a wonderful town, we're healthy, happy, and--"
Why is there a cop at the front door?
Yes, officer, everything is fine.
Yes, I'm sure.
911? From this number?
No, I didn't call...
Oh... oh, gee...
I'm awfully sorry to have inconvenienced you.
It's kind of funny, don't you think?
I mean, really, what are the odds that she would randomly dial 9-1-1?
Thank you for understanding. And for coming out so quickly. I'm really sorry!
Yes, thank you. You have a good night, too.
Phone privileges revoked.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
As I watched my 10 month-old, button-obsessed daughter play with the telephone I thought, "This is a great life. We've been blessed with our baby, we live in a good neighborhood in a wonderful town, we're healthy, happy, and--"
Why is there a cop at the front door?
Yes, officer, everything is fine.
Yes, I'm sure.
911? From this number?
No, I didn't call...
Oh... oh, gee...
I'm awfully sorry to have inconvenienced you.
It's kind of funny, don't you think?
I mean, really, what are the odds that she would randomly dial 9-1-1?
Thank you for understanding. And for coming out so quickly. I'm really sorry!
Yes, thank you. You have a good night, too.
Phone privileges revoked.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
May 09, 2006
Mommy Mail Bag - Teething
Dear Sally,
What kind of teething biscuits do you recommend?
Thanks,
First Time Mom
Dear FTM,
I suggest keeping a box of Zwieback and a box of Arrowroot in the house at all times. Teething babies love them and so will your friends and neighbors who pop in unexpectedly, most likely when you are freshly decked with slimy drool and don't have time to fuss in the kitchen. (It's not that your friends and neighbors have bad timing; it's that you will be freshly decked in slimy drool for most of the next three years.)
Sprinkle a bit of powdered sugar on the Zwieback and serve your "homemade vanilla biscotti" with confidence. Or wrap a frisbee in aluminum foil, slap down a paper doily and dump a box of Arrowroot biscuits on top. No one will guess the secret behind your lovely "shortbread tea cookies". If a summer birthday sneaks up on you, squash a glob of ice cream between a couple of Arrowroots for a festive party treat!
Dear Sally,
My daughter is 11 months old and is finally cutting her first teeth. The problem is that she has no interest in teething rings or chewy toys. I know she needs to bite, but other than my fingers, what can I give her to chew on?
Thanks,
Bitten Up
Dear BU,
If your daughter is able to scooch, crawl, walk, or otherwise get around the house, she will find plenty of things to chew on. You can help her by leaving the bathroom door open as often as possible. Most babies will chew enthusiastically on a toilet seat, a cabinet door knob or a bathroom scale.
If you have a Dust Buster or other handheld vacuum, by all means leave it in the middle of the family room floor. She will consider a mouthful of dust bunnies a small price to pay for the pleasure of gnawing on the vacuum nozzle.
Keys, computer flash drives, padlocks, pocket knives, and travel alarm clocks are delicacies to a teething baby. If you're afraid she may choke, tie a shoelace around the object for no-fuss, no-muss extraction.
Above all, relax and enjoy your daughter's development. Before you know it her teethmarks on the gas line will be all you have to remember this time.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
What kind of teething biscuits do you recommend?
Thanks,
First Time Mom
Dear FTM,
I suggest keeping a box of Zwieback and a box of Arrowroot in the house at all times. Teething babies love them and so will your friends and neighbors who pop in unexpectedly, most likely when you are freshly decked with slimy drool and don't have time to fuss in the kitchen. (It's not that your friends and neighbors have bad timing; it's that you will be freshly decked in slimy drool for most of the next three years.)
Sprinkle a bit of powdered sugar on the Zwieback and serve your "homemade vanilla biscotti" with confidence. Or wrap a frisbee in aluminum foil, slap down a paper doily and dump a box of Arrowroot biscuits on top. No one will guess the secret behind your lovely "shortbread tea cookies". If a summer birthday sneaks up on you, squash a glob of ice cream between a couple of Arrowroots for a festive party treat!
Dear Sally,
My daughter is 11 months old and is finally cutting her first teeth. The problem is that she has no interest in teething rings or chewy toys. I know she needs to bite, but other than my fingers, what can I give her to chew on?
Thanks,
Bitten Up
Dear BU,
If your daughter is able to scooch, crawl, walk, or otherwise get around the house, she will find plenty of things to chew on. You can help her by leaving the bathroom door open as often as possible. Most babies will chew enthusiastically on a toilet seat, a cabinet door knob or a bathroom scale.
If you have a Dust Buster or other handheld vacuum, by all means leave it in the middle of the family room floor. She will consider a mouthful of dust bunnies a small price to pay for the pleasure of gnawing on the vacuum nozzle.
Keys, computer flash drives, padlocks, pocket knives, and travel alarm clocks are delicacies to a teething baby. If you're afraid she may choke, tie a shoelace around the object for no-fuss, no-muss extraction.
Above all, relax and enjoy your daughter's development. Before you know it her teethmarks on the gas line will be all you have to remember this time.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
May 03, 2006
National Day of Prayer
Tomorrow, May 4th, is the 55th annual National Day of Prayer.
The National Day of Prayer was established by a joint resolution of the United States Congress and signed into law by President Harry S. Truman. The United States was born in prayer and founded on a relationship with God, while instituting His biblical principals and moral values.
Events are scheduled across the United States to create awareness of the power of prayer and to:
Protect America's Constitutional Freedoms to gather, worship, pray and speak freely.
Encourage prayer for the challenges facing our families, our towns, our country and our world today.
Respect all people, regardless of denomination or creed.
National Day of Prayer is not a function of the government and, therefore, a particular expression of it can be defined by those who choose to organize it. It is about prayer, not about religion.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
The National Day of Prayer was established by a joint resolution of the United States Congress and signed into law by President Harry S. Truman. The United States was born in prayer and founded on a relationship with God, while instituting His biblical principals and moral values.
Events are scheduled across the United States to create awareness of the power of prayer and to:
National Day of Prayer is not a function of the government and, therefore, a particular expression of it can be defined by those who choose to organize it. It is about prayer, not about religion.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
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