When you asked me to watch you dance, I never imagined that you would sing, too. What a treat to watch you shuffle, stomp, and patter as you belted out
"On the good ship Lollypop
It's a sweet trip to a candy shop
Where pom-poms play
Nah nah nah nah on the peppermint bang!"
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
December 17, 2007
December 08, 2007
A Cup of Tea
I wish I could take credit for this guaranteed laugh. Friends emailed it to me. Thanks, Cheryl and Jason!
Cup of Tea
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)
'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?'
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Cup of Tea
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)
'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?'
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
November 23, 2007
Daddy Gives Thanks
I give thanks when you run to me.
I give thanks when I see your morning face.
I give thanks when you ask "Daddy, will you dance with me?"
I'm grateful that you want to have breakfast with me.
I'm grateful that you think I can fix everything.
I'm grateful that I can make you laugh.
I'm thankful for velcro and cuddle time and stories by the fire.
I'm thankful that you want to hold Mama's hand while you fall asleep.
I give thanks every day that I have you and your Mama to remind me what really matters.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
I give thanks when I see your morning face.
I give thanks when you ask "Daddy, will you dance with me?"
I'm grateful that you want to have breakfast with me.
I'm grateful that you think I can fix everything.
I'm grateful that I can make you laugh.
I'm thankful for velcro and cuddle time and stories by the fire.
I'm thankful that you want to hold Mama's hand while you fall asleep.
I give thanks every day that I have you and your Mama to remind me what really matters.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
November 22, 2007
Mama Gives Thanks
I give thanks every time I hear you sing Amazing Grace to yourself in your bed.
I give thanks when you say "Look, Mama!" and flash me the 'I love you' sign in the rearview mirror.
I give thanks when you whisper "Mama, look at that beautiful sunset."
I'm grateful that you want to spend as much time with me as possible, that you have faith in me, and that you like my singing.
I'm thankful that when I say "I love you", you take my face in your small hands and say "I love you too, Mama."
I'm thankful for car naps and hand-me-downs and giggling in the dark.
I'm thankful that you want to hold my hand while you fall asleep.
I give thanks every day that I have your Daddy to help me raise you, and that we have you to show us the way.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
I give thanks when you say "Look, Mama!" and flash me the 'I love you' sign in the rearview mirror.
I give thanks when you whisper "Mama, look at that beautiful sunset."
I'm grateful that you want to spend as much time with me as possible, that you have faith in me, and that you like my singing.
I'm thankful that when I say "I love you", you take my face in your small hands and say "I love you too, Mama."
I'm thankful for car naps and hand-me-downs and giggling in the dark.
I'm thankful that you want to hold my hand while you fall asleep.
I give thanks every day that I have your Daddy to help me raise you, and that we have you to show us the way.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
October 19, 2007
William Tell Mom
This is one of the Top 10 funniest things I have EVER seen!! Turn your speaker on...
William Tell Mom
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
William Tell Mom
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
September 08, 2007
Little Miss Malaprop
After our morning skrits (grits) we drove to the local pet store to visit the skinny pigs (guinea pigs). Among the CDs we listened to in the car were Elephants Gerald and Bob Erin, who you may know as Ella Fitzgerald and Bob Dylan. :)
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
September 04, 2007
Morning Has Broken (Into A Million Pieces)
I slip into your (strangely suspiciously) too quiet room
and though it's half-dark
there's no mistaking the
poop on your hands
poop on the wall
poop in your crib
poop in your hair.
I believe I'll cry
but you cock your head
reach up with your (smeary smelly) little hands
and smile with all your might
and poop in your teeth.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
and though it's half-dark
there's no mistaking the
poop on your hands
poop on the wall
poop in your crib
poop in your hair.
I believe I'll cry
but you cock your head
reach up with your (smeary smelly) little hands
and smile with all your might
and poop in your teeth.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
August 24, 2007
Product Recalls
Help keep your family safe by checking product recalls and safety news from CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission).
Visit www.cpsc.gov/cpsclist.aspx to sign up for free email alerts. Expect to receive them at least daily. There are far more product recalls than I ever imagined!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Visit www.cpsc.gov/cpsclist.aspx to sign up for free email alerts. Expect to receive them at least daily. There are far more product recalls than I ever imagined!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
August 23, 2007
La Cosa Nostra
"All done with your bath, Little One. Time to put your lotion on." (I said)
"I can do it." (replied my two year-old)
"Oh, that's Mama's job. Mama will do it." (me again)
"I want to do it." (my two year-old)
"I'm sure you do, but Mama's going to do it."
"But I'm going to do it."
"Honey, Mama will put your lotion on."
"IcandoitIcandoitIcandoit!"
"No, Child, I will do it."
"No, Mama, I will do it."
"I will do it... I'm the boss." (I said firmly, and a touch exasperated)
"I'm the other boss."
Will I lose my last finger-hold on authority if I laugh?
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
"I can do it." (replied my two year-old)
"Oh, that's Mama's job. Mama will do it." (me again)
"I want to do it." (my two year-old)
"I'm sure you do, but Mama's going to do it."
"But I'm going to do it."
"Honey, Mama will put your lotion on."
"IcandoitIcandoitIcandoit!"
"No, Child, I will do it."
"No, Mama, I will do it."
"I will do it... I'm the boss." (I said firmly, and a touch exasperated)
"I'm the other boss."
Will I lose my last finger-hold on authority if I laugh?
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
August 07, 2007
Why I Love The Splash Park
Hanging out with toddlers in bathing suits - almost everyone's thighs are chubbier than mine.
It opens at 8 a.m.
When my hair's wet no one can tell that I haven't showered.
No one wants to get their cell phone wet, so they don't stand around having loud private conversations into their phone.
Water play in the sun has been scientifically proven to induce euphoria. (The euphoria lingers almost as long as it takes to pull out of the parking lot; ironically, that's exactly how long it takes your ravenous, exhausted kid to realize that the snacks are gone and wet bathing suits turn cold in the air-conditioned car.)
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
It opens at 8 a.m.
When my hair's wet no one can tell that I haven't showered.
No one wants to get their cell phone wet, so they don't stand around having loud private conversations into their phone.
Water play in the sun has been scientifically proven to induce euphoria. (The euphoria lingers almost as long as it takes to pull out of the parking lot; ironically, that's exactly how long it takes your ravenous, exhausted kid to realize that the snacks are gone and wet bathing suits turn cold in the air-conditioned car.)
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
July 24, 2007
Where Have All The Dollies Gone?
I’m looking for a doll – a baby doll. I don't need her to speak Spanish. I don’t want to hear a heartbeat when I pick her up, or mix a tablespoon of warm water with a packet of powder so she can “make” a diaper.
I just want a regular baby doll. The kind that has a smooth rubber head with little hair lines etched into it. Eyes that slide closed when she lies down and a fixed pink mouth parted just wide enough for her tiny bottle. No bendable knees or flexible fingers. I want the stiff plastic arms and legs that rotate 360 degrees in the socket and pop out of the torso if they’re pulled in any other direction. Slightly rounded belly, slightly webbed toes, and a little v-shaped crease for her bottom. That’s the doll I’m looking for.
I find Barbie dolls, Beanie dolls, Dora dolls and Doodle dolls. Dolls that shop, dolls that bop, cowgirls, schoolgirls, newsgirls, American Girls… no plain old baby dolls.
Grrls for teens, Bratz for tweens, Snap & Style, Design My Style, Little Mermaid, Little Mommy, Mommy Make Me Better (for the junior co-dependent in your life). Cabbage Patch dolls are back with the same freshly-punched-in-the-face-look that shoppers punched each other in the face for in the early-1980’s.
Doesn’t anyone have dolly dolls anymore?
There’s a whole section of aroma-therapized dolls. Corolle Lila is “infused with a delightful vanilla scent.” Better be pretty darn delightful for fifty bucks! Smell-errific Berry Beautiful Babies share a shelf with the new and improved Strawberry Shortcake - now with perma-scent! – and something called a Thermal Doll. What the heck is that?
I don’t know what these Only Hearts Club dolls are either, but they’ve got to be better than the scary Chucky dolls and this line of Ugly Dolls that definitely live down to the name.
For $49.99 I can have two-way conversations with the artificially intelligent Amazing Amanda. She laughs, talks, cries and changes her facial expressions to reflect her mood. She even interacts with her play pieces. Please, for fifty bucks I’d like a doll that at least pretends to need me.
Oh, thank goodness. Baby Alive. I remember her! Soft skin, soft curls, and a sweet smile… hmm… today’s version slurps and spits. Very nice. That’s what you want to teach your kid.
That’s it. I’m hitting the dollar store on the way home. I’ll surprise my daughter with another colorful, lead paint-tainted puzzle instead of the baby doll I wanted to give her.
Puzzles, puzzles, where are the puzzles? Wait a minute. What’s this? Rubber head. Molded plastic torso. Little comma-shaped belly button. Dolly?
It is you! Oh, Dolly! Of course. I should have known that the only place to find an all-American baby doll anymore is in a store full of Third World sweatshop goods!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
I just want a regular baby doll. The kind that has a smooth rubber head with little hair lines etched into it. Eyes that slide closed when she lies down and a fixed pink mouth parted just wide enough for her tiny bottle. No bendable knees or flexible fingers. I want the stiff plastic arms and legs that rotate 360 degrees in the socket and pop out of the torso if they’re pulled in any other direction. Slightly rounded belly, slightly webbed toes, and a little v-shaped crease for her bottom. That’s the doll I’m looking for.
I find Barbie dolls, Beanie dolls, Dora dolls and Doodle dolls. Dolls that shop, dolls that bop, cowgirls, schoolgirls, newsgirls, American Girls… no plain old baby dolls.
Grrls for teens, Bratz for tweens, Snap & Style, Design My Style, Little Mermaid, Little Mommy, Mommy Make Me Better (for the junior co-dependent in your life). Cabbage Patch dolls are back with the same freshly-punched-in-the-face-look that shoppers punched each other in the face for in the early-1980’s.
Doesn’t anyone have dolly dolls anymore?
There’s a whole section of aroma-therapized dolls. Corolle Lila is “infused with a delightful vanilla scent.” Better be pretty darn delightful for fifty bucks! Smell-errific Berry Beautiful Babies share a shelf with the new and improved Strawberry Shortcake - now with perma-scent! – and something called a Thermal Doll. What the heck is that?
I don’t know what these Only Hearts Club dolls are either, but they’ve got to be better than the scary Chucky dolls and this line of Ugly Dolls that definitely live down to the name.
For $49.99 I can have two-way conversations with the artificially intelligent Amazing Amanda. She laughs, talks, cries and changes her facial expressions to reflect her mood. She even interacts with her play pieces. Please, for fifty bucks I’d like a doll that at least pretends to need me.
Oh, thank goodness. Baby Alive. I remember her! Soft skin, soft curls, and a sweet smile… hmm… today’s version slurps and spits. Very nice. That’s what you want to teach your kid.
That’s it. I’m hitting the dollar store on the way home. I’ll surprise my daughter with another colorful, lead paint-tainted puzzle instead of the baby doll I wanted to give her.
Puzzles, puzzles, where are the puzzles? Wait a minute. What’s this? Rubber head. Molded plastic torso. Little comma-shaped belly button. Dolly?
It is you! Oh, Dolly! Of course. I should have known that the only place to find an all-American baby doll anymore is in a store full of Third World sweatshop goods!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
July 21, 2007
What's So Great About Being Two?
Knowing how to use the potty
Only using it when you're in the mood
Jumping up and down in the bathtub
Guessing whether Mama will drop her last Excedrin migraine in your dirty bathwater or into the open toilet when she sees you jumping up and down in the bathtub
Hiding play-doh under your tongue when Mama checks to see if you’re eating it
Jumping on the bed
A black olive on every finger
Jumping on the bed with a black olive on every finger
Calling Daddy at work and licking the phone
Arranging eggs and ice cubes on the kitchen floor
Jumping on them
Spinning the Lazy Susan without pinching your fingers
Not eating the bread crust
Eating the sunscreen
Reaching Mama's iced coffee on the counter
Jumping in the rocking chair
Hiding silently
Drinking water from the hose
Sticking the hose in your diaper
Drinking more water from the hose
It's only noon.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Only using it when you're in the mood
Jumping up and down in the bathtub
Guessing whether Mama will drop her last Excedrin migraine in your dirty bathwater or into the open toilet when she sees you jumping up and down in the bathtub
Hiding play-doh under your tongue when Mama checks to see if you’re eating it
Jumping on the bed
A black olive on every finger
Jumping on the bed with a black olive on every finger
Calling Daddy at work and licking the phone
Arranging eggs and ice cubes on the kitchen floor
Jumping on them
Spinning the Lazy Susan without pinching your fingers
Not eating the bread crust
Eating the sunscreen
Reaching Mama's iced coffee on the counter
Jumping in the rocking chair
Hiding silently
Drinking water from the hose
Sticking the hose in your diaper
Drinking more water from the hose
It's only noon.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
July 13, 2007
Fast Food Fast Talk
It's Friday afternoon of a very busy week, and I decide to treat myself to a vanilla iced coffee at McDonalds. I pull into the drive-thru... roll my window down...
"Welcome to McDonalds. Would you like to try our new sweet tea for 99 cents today?"
Before I can say anything a little voice hollers from the car seat, "No fank you! Can I have a yogurt parfait... wif strawberries... a cup of ice water... um... formaggio (Italian for cheese) and a rice cake. Pwease. Fank you very much!"
Good thing I keep my wallet out of her reach!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
"Welcome to McDonalds. Would you like to try our new sweet tea for 99 cents today?"
Before I can say anything a little voice hollers from the car seat, "No fank you! Can I have a yogurt parfait... wif strawberries... a cup of ice water... um... formaggio (Italian for cheese) and a rice cake. Pwease. Fank you very much!"
Good thing I keep my wallet out of her reach!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
June 11, 2007
National Hug Day
Happy Hug Day!
I've been away from my post due to a family emergency, but I'm back with a lot to share. I'm looking forward to re-connecting with you, so I hope you'll check back soon.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
I've been away from my post due to a family emergency, but I'm back with a lot to share. I'm looking forward to re-connecting with you, so I hope you'll check back soon.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
May 28, 2007
National Memo Day
I know that National Memo Day was last week, but I have just one more.
Memo to everyone who uses public restrooms: "handicapped accessible" doesn't mean "handicapped exclusive". If you're an able-bodied person at the front of a 22-person line and 12 of the people in line are shorter than your mailbox and trying very hard not to pee in their pants, for crying out loud, use the handicapped accessible stall or get out of the way!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Memo to everyone who uses public restrooms: "handicapped accessible" doesn't mean "handicapped exclusive". If you're an able-bodied person at the front of a 22-person line and 12 of the people in line are shorter than your mailbox and trying very hard not to pee in their pants, for crying out loud, use the handicapped accessible stall or get out of the way!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
May 12, 2007
The Ultimate Mother's Day
Some days it seems like all I do is fill and refill. Just once, I'd like to have everything full at the same time.
My husband, my kid, and myself, so no one needs to be fed.
A drawer full of full pens. A head full of new ideas. A vase full of fresh flowers for inspiration.
I'd like to have the maximum recommended air pressure in all of our bicycle tires.
How about the diaper bag, the gym bag and the lawnmower gas can - all full at the same time?
My water bottle. My gas tank. My windshield wiper fluid. Full, full, and full.
The fire extinguisher, the first aid kit, the linen closet, sock drawers... dare I dream of a full can of new tennis balls?
I'd like for every box of tissues in the house to be full. Every spice jar in the rack and every cup in the egg carton... full.
How 'bout a full jug of soymilk to wash down my full cookie jar? And speaking of wash, I'd even like a full laundry hamper, so at least I'd know where I stand.
I'd like my printer full of toner, my fax machine full of paper, and my Inbox full of acceptance letters. My Outbox, of course, should brim with a column, a few articles, and a book manuscript - all complete and brilliantly crafted.
Please, for Mother's Day, will someone fill the ice cube trays? Fully charge the dust buster and fill my prescription? Would you replace my old, flattish pillow with a full, fluffy new one?
Maybe tomorrow morning (having gotten a full night's sleep) my husband and I will watch as our daughter is fully content playing by herself for a full five minutes. And maybe my husband will gaze at me with eyes full of love and a pot full of steaming coffee. And as I reflect with a full heart on our wonderfully full life, I'll know that although I usually see the glass as half-full, in fact, my cup runneth over. I hope yours does, too.
Happy Mother's Day!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
My husband, my kid, and myself, so no one needs to be fed.
A drawer full of full pens. A head full of new ideas. A vase full of fresh flowers for inspiration.
I'd like to have the maximum recommended air pressure in all of our bicycle tires.
How about the diaper bag, the gym bag and the lawnmower gas can - all full at the same time?
My water bottle. My gas tank. My windshield wiper fluid. Full, full, and full.
The fire extinguisher, the first aid kit, the linen closet, sock drawers... dare I dream of a full can of new tennis balls?
I'd like for every box of tissues in the house to be full. Every spice jar in the rack and every cup in the egg carton... full.
How 'bout a full jug of soymilk to wash down my full cookie jar? And speaking of wash, I'd even like a full laundry hamper, so at least I'd know where I stand.
I'd like my printer full of toner, my fax machine full of paper, and my Inbox full of acceptance letters. My Outbox, of course, should brim with a column, a few articles, and a book manuscript - all complete and brilliantly crafted.
Please, for Mother's Day, will someone fill the ice cube trays? Fully charge the dust buster and fill my prescription? Would you replace my old, flattish pillow with a full, fluffy new one?
Maybe tomorrow morning (having gotten a full night's sleep) my husband and I will watch as our daughter is fully content playing by herself for a full five minutes. And maybe my husband will gaze at me with eyes full of love and a pot full of steaming coffee. And as I reflect with a full heart on our wonderfully full life, I'll know that although I usually see the glass as half-full, in fact, my cup runneth over. I hope yours does, too.
Happy Mother's Day!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
April 24, 2007
Cadbury-vascular workout
Against all odds, I made it out for aerobics tonight. I really pushed my intensity level, and I think I managed to work off the Cadbury Creme Egg I ate for dinner on the way to class, so score that a win.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
April 19, 2007
Red Light-Green Light
"Green light. Green means go."
That's right, Honey, green light means go.
"Yellow light. Yellow means slow."
Yes, yellow light means slow.
"Red light. Red means stop. Mama's makeup on."
What can I say?
:)
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
That's right, Honey, green light means go.
"Yellow light. Yellow means slow."
Yes, yellow light means slow.
"Red light. Red means stop. Mama's makeup on."
What can I say?
:)
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
April 13, 2007
Hold Your Applause
"Go potty now. Sit. Sit potty now. Pee pee now. Pee pee in potty now. All done. Yea, Mama! Mama pee peed! You did it! Yea, Mama!" (clap, clap, clap)
I don't know how far her voice carries in Borders, but I'm afraid to walk out of this bathroom!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
I don't know how far her voice carries in Borders, but I'm afraid to walk out of this bathroom!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
April 04, 2007
Found in Translation
I finally got my hands on a bootleg copy of the Parent-to-Toddler Dictionary (never mind the particulars; I don't want to drag anyone else into the anarchy of the Secret Toddler Underground) and let me just say... I've been blind, and now I see!
Who knew that to a toddler, "Use your fork, please" means "Dip a green bean in your milk and stuff it up your nose"? This changes everything!
I'll be a much better mom knowing that "It's time to put your tea set away" means "Hurl yourself against the glass-front fireplace. Twice."
"I have to let go of your hand to unlock the car, so I need you to stand right here while I do that. DO NOT MOVE." means "Run, Child! Run like the wind!"
"Where's your bib?" means "Would you be so kind as to rummage through the kitchen drawers until you find a rusty antique pickle fork, and then comb your eyebrows with it?"
"Yucky! Don't put that in your mouth." means "Cram it into mine while I'm talking."
(variation - "Honey, don't rip pages out of your book." means "Rip pages out of mine instead.")
"This part of mass is called the Homily." means “Mama has a scrambled egg in her pocket. Don't be fooled by her whispered denials. Just keep shouting "egg now!" until she gives it to you."
Now I'm ready to face the day. (Wait! I'd better look that up. Yep, here it is: "Call Mama to your crib, wrap your little arms tightly around her neck, and vomit."
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Who knew that to a toddler, "Use your fork, please" means "Dip a green bean in your milk and stuff it up your nose"? This changes everything!
I'll be a much better mom knowing that "It's time to put your tea set away" means "Hurl yourself against the glass-front fireplace. Twice."
"I have to let go of your hand to unlock the car, so I need you to stand right here while I do that. DO NOT MOVE." means "Run, Child! Run like the wind!"
"Where's your bib?" means "Would you be so kind as to rummage through the kitchen drawers until you find a rusty antique pickle fork, and then comb your eyebrows with it?"
"Yucky! Don't put that in your mouth." means "Cram it into mine while I'm talking."
(variation - "Honey, don't rip pages out of your book." means "Rip pages out of mine instead.")
"This part of mass is called the Homily." means “Mama has a scrambled egg in her pocket. Don't be fooled by her whispered denials. Just keep shouting "egg now!" until she gives it to you."
Now I'm ready to face the day. (Wait! I'd better look that up. Yep, here it is: "Call Mama to your crib, wrap your little arms tightly around her neck, and vomit."
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
March 29, 2007
Little George Jesus
One of the fun things about being a parent is hearing the world through your child's ears.
Two of my favorite sound bites are the morning you asked for cottage cheese and "pie mumble" (pineapple) and the first time you hailed Daddy with "There she is!" (his usual greeting to you).
Yesterday dawned with a new delight, as I heard you sing Brahm's Lullaby as "Apple bite, and good night."
This post would not be complete without mentioning my niece Sam's remake of the classic Christmas carol, Away in the Manger:
"Away in the manger, no crib for his bed.
The little George Jesus lay down his sweet head."
Keep 'em coming!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Two of my favorite sound bites are the morning you asked for cottage cheese and "pie mumble" (pineapple) and the first time you hailed Daddy with "There she is!" (his usual greeting to you).
Yesterday dawned with a new delight, as I heard you sing Brahm's Lullaby as "Apple bite, and good night."
This post would not be complete without mentioning my niece Sam's remake of the classic Christmas carol, Away in the Manger:
"Away in the manger, no crib for his bed.
The little George Jesus lay down his sweet head."
Keep 'em coming!
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
March 01, 2007
And How Was Your Day?
By 10:30 this morning she had pinched her finger in the pantry door, crushed three raw eggs between Dolly's feet, "helped Mama" several times by unbuckling herself from her high chair, and gutted the toy cabinet and piled everything on the couch, then had a meltdown and flung it all onto the floor because there wasn't enough room for her to climb up.
Time for hydrotherapy.
She wanted to use her "big girl potty" before bath.
Great.
Hop on... sit... hop off... turn to look. As she chirped,"Enty! Twy agin next time!" she spread her little legs and peed on the floor. Of course, she then stepped in the pee, slipped, and landed on her butt.
As I scooped her up, I slipped in it, and having no other way to break my fall, drove my knee into the side of the tub on my way down to the floor. I managed to catch my elbow on the tub rim and dump her in just as I felt my rotator cuff tear away from the bone.
"It's OK, Honey. Mama's just pretend crying. And pretending to turn pale. No, no. No standing in the tub. You're going to fall-" as my arm shot out to catch her I realized that it was my newly "bad" arm, but it was too late.
"Sit, Honey, sit in the tub... Mama's going to take a little nap..."
Through a haze I heard her voice, "Poopy. Poopy-d. Poopied." And indeed she had. Right between the bubbles.
I somehow managed to pull up onto my good knee and hoist her out with my untorn arm. "It's OK. You stand right here while I clean the tub and your bath toys. Oh! Where did you get that cup of water? Did you scoop it out of the tu-- No, no, don't drink that! That came from the poopy wat--"
"All gone!"
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Time for hydrotherapy.
She wanted to use her "big girl potty" before bath.
Great.
Hop on... sit... hop off... turn to look. As she chirped,"Enty! Twy agin next time!" she spread her little legs and peed on the floor. Of course, she then stepped in the pee, slipped, and landed on her butt.
As I scooped her up, I slipped in it, and having no other way to break my fall, drove my knee into the side of the tub on my way down to the floor. I managed to catch my elbow on the tub rim and dump her in just as I felt my rotator cuff tear away from the bone.
"It's OK, Honey. Mama's just pretend crying. And pretending to turn pale. No, no. No standing in the tub. You're going to fall-" as my arm shot out to catch her I realized that it was my newly "bad" arm, but it was too late.
"Sit, Honey, sit in the tub... Mama's going to take a little nap..."
Through a haze I heard her voice, "Poopy. Poopy-d. Poopied." And indeed she had. Right between the bubbles.
I somehow managed to pull up onto my good knee and hoist her out with my untorn arm. "It's OK. You stand right here while I clean the tub and your bath toys. Oh! Where did you get that cup of water? Did you scoop it out of the tu-- No, no, don't drink that! That came from the poopy wat--"
"All gone!"
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
February 25, 2007
Raise Your Voice for Women
March 8th is International Women's Day 2007
This year's theme is "Ending Impunity for Violence Against Women and Girls". I hope that you will decide to make a difference. Our action is the only solution.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
This year's theme is "Ending Impunity for Violence Against Women and Girls". I hope that you will decide to make a difference. Our action is the only solution.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
February 01, 2007
Self-reliance
"Good morning, Sunshine. How 'bout a nice, dry diaper to start the day?"
"Self."
"Come on. Mama will help you go down the stairs."
"Self."
"Yes, I'm pouring your milk right now."
"Self."
"It's time to get dressed."
"Self."
"We can go outside after I put your shoes on."
"Self."
"Wait, wait. You need your coat."
"Self."
"That was fun! Let me brush the snow off of you before we go inside."
"Self."
"Are you ready for a story? Sit right here and Mama will read to you."
"Self. Self!"
"How 'bout a---"
"Self."
"I want to---"
"Self."
"We're going to---"
"Self."
"Can I---"
"Self."
"OK, honey, it's time to put your toys away."
"...... Mama do it."
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
"Self."
"Come on. Mama will help you go down the stairs."
"Self."
"Yes, I'm pouring your milk right now."
"Self."
"It's time to get dressed."
"Self."
"We can go outside after I put your shoes on."
"Self."
"Wait, wait. You need your coat."
"Self."
"That was fun! Let me brush the snow off of you before we go inside."
"Self."
"Are you ready for a story? Sit right here and Mama will read to you."
"Self. Self!"
"How 'bout a---"
"Self."
"I want to---"
"Self."
"We're going to---"
"Self."
"Can I---"
"Self."
"OK, honey, it's time to put your toys away."
"...... Mama do it."
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
January 07, 2007
Observations of an 18-month-old Daddy
He's as bewildered by her tantrums as he is by mine.
At some point in every tea party he will build a tower with the refreshments.
If I put her on my lap when we're eating dinner, I'm "spoiling her". If he puts her on his lap when we're eating dinner, he's "spending time with his daughter".
I can't get him to wear a heavy coat and gloves when it's 11 degrees outside, but she decks him out in a pumpkin bib, Mardi Gras beads and a Pooh Bear skull cap, and he can't stop smiling.
I love him more every minute.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
At some point in every tea party he will build a tower with the refreshments.
If I put her on my lap when we're eating dinner, I'm "spoiling her". If he puts her on his lap when we're eating dinner, he's "spending time with his daughter".
I can't get him to wear a heavy coat and gloves when it's 11 degrees outside, but she decks him out in a pumpkin bib, Mardi Gras beads and a Pooh Bear skull cap, and he can't stop smiling.
I love him more every minute.
Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer
Freelance Writer
Parenting
Motherhood
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
