I'm Just Not That Into Me

For most of my life I've had a casual attitude toward my appearance (ginormous understatement). I wear makeup very occasionally and shoes only for school functions and church. My kids have had friends since preschool who still don't recognize me without my pajamas.

My skin care routine is simple. If there's something on my face, I wipe it off with whatever's handy. Good to go.

I'm still not sure why, but I recently gave into an impulse and bought a full suite of skin care products. When I first saw the pristine jars nestled in their organic packing material, I thought, "Yeah! I should pamper myself a little bit. This will be nice." Then I looked at the directions.
1. Wash face and pat dry.
2. Using a circular motion, apply Deep Renewal Serum to entire face. Allow to absorb completely (15 minutes).
3. With a light touch, apply Instant Effects around eyes. Allow to absorb completely (15 minutes).
4. Using gentle upward sweeps, apply Neck Renewal to neck. Allow to absorb completely (15 minutes).
5. Apply Refresh and Radiate to entire face. Allow to absorb completely (15 minutes).
6. For best results repeat twice daily.

For real? The absorption time alone adds up to an hour-long gig, and I'm supposed to do it twice a day? Yeah, right. But since the money was spent I decided to give it a whirl.

Well, it's been 10 days, and I've done the whole routine only 9 times. I've missed e-l-e-v-e-n times!

The 15 minutes between steps is tough to manage. I'm rarely available 15 minutes after the last time I was available. I apply something and then I get on a conference call or drive a kiddo somewhere or work on a client project and by the time I remember my next application, half the day is gone, which makes the "twice daily" element a real challenge. I've had to set my alarm for 3 different times in the night to get all my potions on.

I don't dig having stuff on my face. Knowing it's on there makes me itch, and if I scratch my cheek I don't know if I should reapply the last potion to that section or just wait for the next one. I don't want to go through all these shenanigans and be left with one cheek that's less revitalized than the other.

And watching the clock for my next application. Staring at myself in the mirror. The circular motion and the upward sweeps. It feels so... self-absorbed. Not my thing.

Yes, I do realize I'm walking away from walking the years back, and I'm not going to achieve my full radiance potential. I'll happily settle for less than dewy perfection because frankly, I'm just not that into me.


Sally Bacchetta - Freelance Writer